Ribbon

Mmh~ As I'm sure at least some of you know, there's only one good way to end a day, and that's with a snack begging to be let go slipping past your lips. I couldn't really imagine going to bed without -someone- pounding away on my insides. Really, on the nights I don't swallow some poor soul, I don't sleep all that well.
I mean, sure. I could just eat some vegetables every day and call it good. Be a contributing member of society and pretend like I care about the world around me. But I just don't feel the need to listen. Well. I might listen a little when they're already pulling behind my neck. You know, screaming. Whining. Complaining. I wouldn't say it's music to my ears, but the vibrations a panicked voice causes are... well. Nice. Like a little massage.
Anyways, my name is Ribbon, and that's not by choice, but who really gets to name themselves anyways? I guess I could pick another name, but I don't have any idea of what it would be. A long time ago, my trainer -- when I still had one -- and I were pretty close. But he got old and I kept growing. Not really like the other creatures of my kind. He was a weird guy. And the last thing he told me was, "Enjoy yourself at the world's expense; Life's too great to worry about stepping on toes." He released me because he was getting too old to travel around and didn't want to see me stuffed into a box. He was a nice guy.
So why not live by those words? They're a little off. I knew they were when he said them, and something told me he knew, too. But he still said them. And one of the things I happen to enjoy is... well. Food. So here I am now, grabbing my next meal by the ankles and cramming them heel-first into my throat. It's not a bad life. Pred